Have you ever seen a program on television about a sick child and then started worrying about your own child getting sick?
Or read a newspaper article about someone your age getting cancer and then you start thinking the worst about every ache you experience, even though you are healthy?
We all experience these fears, and I know how it is easy for your thoughts to assume the worst, because I used to do just that when I suffered from anxiety.
Here are a few helpful tips to calm yourself and to take back your control:
1) Limit Negative Media. Television, newspapers, and Internet news can inform. However, when you watch too much and find yourself worrying excessively about what you see, it has lost its positive value for you.
Avoid watching news in the evening because what we feed our minds before bed is what is on our minds while we sleep. Avoid negative news when you are feeling anxious as well. Also, realize that the media's goal is to get ratings. Drama and heartbreak get ratings.
In the United States, our news is skewed on the negative side, when in fact there is a wealth of positive news happening every day! I seriously limit my news watching and make it a point to subscribe to positive news sites and magazines.
2) Stop Futilely Trying for Supreme External Control. Worries about health often come from trying to control the uncontrollable. We try to micromanage every single ounce we eat because we think that if we do that we are GUARANTEED not to get sick. We don't let our children play alone outside (safely and when age appropriate) because we are afraid harm will strike. These are misguided attempts to get control.
The problem is that trying to control all of the EXTERNAL events of life is impossible and a prescription for anxiety and despair. I know... I tried it for many years and it doesn't work!
The facts are that although we have a great measure of control over whether we get certain diseases or whether a trauma occurs, we never have absolute control. We do not have absolute control over the external events and situations in our lives. Period.
It's the nature of life.
So stop trying. Control what you can in your external environment, then spend the majority of your time beefing up your inner control. Inner control means how we choose to act in RESPONSE to the external events of life. We control what we do, say, and think. This determines our happiness and gives us lasting freedom from anxiety.
I have a friend with stage 4 (terminal) breast cancer. She ate well, took excellent care of her health, and even so, she got cancer in her thirties. Instead of getting hopeless, she got joyful. She started appreciating every moment of life with her husband and two year old daughter. She reached out to create a network of friends that is impacting thousands. She is writing a book about her experience to help others. She accessed her INNER control.
(Some great news: Her tumors are now 1/3 their original size. I firmly believe that her miraculous healing is in large part due to her taking inner control and using her dis-ease to help others experience joy and see God in every moment through her story. You can check out her inspirational story at: http://www.kalena.org.)
We've all heard stories of how two people can experience the same trauma, say cancer, and one person uses it as a springboard for living fully and the other hopelessly waits for death. The difference is inner control -- something that each of us has within us at this very moment.
Not sure how to access your inner control? We talk about inner control and provide specific techniques on how to access yours to get rid of anxious thoughts permanently in our Conquer Anxiety Success Program. Check out how to get your program free at http://www.conqueranxiety.com.
