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About Deanne:
Deanne Repich is an internationally known anxiety educator, teacher, author, and former sufferer. She is the creator of the Conquer Anxiety Success
Program, author of more than one hundred articles on anxiety, and a member of the Anxiety Disorders Association of America.

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Deanne's articles have been featured on highly respected health and
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and she has appeared as a Guest Expert in publications worldwide.

What Is Genuine Control?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Deanne Repich is the Founder of the National Institute of Anxiety and Stress, Inc., an anxiety educator, teacher, and former anxiety sufferer. Deanne created the Conquer Your Anxiety Success Program, a simple, action-oriented "how-to" course that has helped thousands across the globe conquer their anxiety. She also conducts seminars, writes articles, and publishes the free "Anxiety Tips" newsletter.

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-- Genuine control is not something lost or gained according
to what someone else says, does or thinks. It is within me in
abundance at all times.

-- Genuine control is not about trying to make people like or
love me. It's about liking and loving myself and allowing my
inner beauty to shine through.

-- Genuine control is not something that comes from
manipulating the external environment - other people, events,
and circumstances. It comes from changing my internal
environment - how I perceive and act.

-- Genuine control does not result in feelings of powerlessness,
anxiety, and self-doubt. It results in feelings of empowerment,
contentment, and increased self-esteem.

-- Genuine control does not drag me down. It lifts me up.

-- Genuine control does not come and go depending on how
I'm feeling at the moment. It is within me at all times, even if
I choose not to realize it or use it.

-- Genuine control does not mean attempting to make others
do things my way and think the way I want. It means making
my own choices and thinking for myself.

-- Genuine control does not mean looking outside of myself
to determine who I am. It means looking within myself and
appreciating who I am.

-- Genuine control does not mean single-handedly transforming
economies, business climates, and political realities. It
means transforming my internal reality (myself), which in
turn positively affects the whole.

-- Genuine control is not about predicting the future - my
grades, my income, my relationships, or a thousand other
things. It's knowing that whatever happens I can choose
how to perceive and react to life's events.

-- Genuine control does not mean trying to change someone
else's feelings. It means that each person's feelings are his
or hers alone, just as my feelings are mine alone.

-- Genuine control does not mean never making mistakes.
It means understanding that making mistakes (and learning
from them!) is essential to my success.

-- Genuine control is not about feeling the need to change
other peoples' preferences and opinions. It means developing
and respecting my own.

-- Genuine control does not mean attempting the impossible
and feeling disappointed that I did not achieve it. It means
attempting the possible and congratulating myself on each
small success I achieve.

-- Genuine control does not mean telling others how to spend
their time. It means choosing how I spend my time.

-- Genuine control does not mean other people, events, and
situations determine my feelings, thoughts, and actions. It
means that I choose how to feel, think, and act.

-- Genuine control is not about trying to stop the rain, the
snow, or the sunshine. It's about making rainbows,
snowmen, and sand castles. :)

-- Genuine control is not about attempting to change what
other people think, do, and feel because I know what's best
for them. It's about deciding how I react to what others think,
do, and feel because I know what's best for me.

-- Genuine control does not mean controlling all of life's
events. It means interpreting life's events in a way that
promotes my growth, happiness, and well-being.

© Copyright March 4, 2003 by Deanne Repich and the National Institute of Anxiety and Stress, Inc.

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